


fare wells

by hanabyulse



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, Post-Divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26889643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanabyulse/pseuds/hanabyulse
Summary: moonbyul and yongsun have been divorced. moonbyul tries to cope, but she meets yongsun for the first time since being separated.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	fare wells

Upon fixing her eyes on her fiancee, Moonbyul started to tear up. She was dressed in a simple silk gown which only accentuated her radiating beauty. Looking down at the dress she had on, Moonbyul almost shied away comparing herself to how gorgeous Yongsun stood beside her.

Yongsun only laughed at her, with the floral veil draped over her face with her fingertips itching to lift them up at the hem. “We’re not getting married just yet, save your tears for then, you crybaby.” 

“How could I not cry at the pure glory of your presence?” Her voice was lower than a whisper, making sure that only Yongsun could hear the vulnerability in it. Without taking her eyes off of her fiance, she looked for her comforting hands and held them in silence. Standing there with Yongsun as a camera took pictures of them made her quiver in anxiety, along with the fact that she was getting married in the next two months.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to think of the camera, it’s just us right now. Just the two of us.” Yongsun’s voice broke through the thoughts she was overthinking. She gave her hands a tight squeeze and bore into her eyes. 

_ It’s just us right now. _

_ Just the two of us. _

Moonbyul sighed as she opened a new can of beer. She sat on the grass of a hill; only it wasn’t just a hill, it was where she had taken the prenuptial shots with Yongsun. As the thought crossed her mind, she laughed bitterly. 

Here she was, drinking her sorrows away, alone.

Alone on a hill, where Yongsun had talked to her to ask for a divorce.

  
  


“What?” Moonbyul’s eyes shook in horror. 

Was she hearing Yongsun right?

“Yongsun, we can’t just break up over a single misunderstanding. We’ve been married for three years.” Her wife couldn’t even meet her eyes. 

“It’s not your fault, Byul.” Yongsun crossed her arms over her chest and hung her head. She refused to even say  _ why. _

Why? Why would she just throw this all away? 

“Why couldn’t you have told me sooner? We could’ve fixed things.” She took a step forward, wanting to capture Yongsun in her arms a last time, but the woman only flinched. She couldn’t bear to look at Moonbyul.

“I gave so many signs, Byul. Why couldn’t you read them?” She turned her back and started to leave. Moonbyul's vision blurred and she couldn't catch sight of where Yongsun was going. She was leaving. She was leaving her. 

Her feet moved before she could think and she started to run after her, scrambling and panting. 

“Moon Yongsun… Don’t leave. Don’t leave me, please. Please, we can work this out.” She cried in desperation on her knees and held onto her wrists. Yongsun looked at her and started to sob quietly. 

"I don't want to do this either, Byul. But I have someone else."

Something inside of her broke with a snap and she clutched her chest. She couldn't know no love without Yongsun. They had so many plans and dreams that they haven't even started on. And yet, here she was, leaving it all behind with her. 

"Who? Tell me. Tell me who it is." 

The wind passed through them and the silence in the air continued to heave. 

"It's not your fault. We couldn't have worked out."

"Answer my question, Yongsun."

"I… Moonbyul…"

With the ounce of strength she had left, Moonbyul stood up with a defeated smirk. 

"It's Wheein, isn't it?"

Yongsun's head turned to the side; her silence and pursed lips was an answer in itself. 

Moonbyul scoffed, and then laughed. All of it was so unbelievable and surreal. This couldn't be happening. 

Wheein, huh. Her best friend. That was just peachy, and explained why the two of them had been so silent around her these days. 

"I'm sorry, Byul."

And there went the woman she could only love. There went away the best seven years of her life, along with her best friend. 

Moonbyul stared blankly at the screen of her monitor. 

"Miss Moon? Are you okay?" She shook herself awake and smiled at Jeongyeon, who snapped her out of her thoughts. 

"Yeah, I'm… I'm okay." The shift in Jeongyeon's expression told her she could see through her lie. 

"I heard you and Missus Mo—Miss Yongsun just got a divorce. Are you sure you don't want to take a leave?" At the casual drop of the d-bomb, Moonbyul winced and scratched the base of her nape. 

"I'll be fine," She glanced at the photo frame on her desk, of her wedding picture with Yongsun and smiled bitterly. "Eventually." 

"Let's just forget I said anything okay? How about some lunch—on me?" Jeongyeon tried her best to lift her boss' mood, even if it was just a scoop of ice cream or a slice of cake. Only Moonbyul didn't seem so interested in anything else now that the topic of Yongsun has been brought up already. 

"Sure, whatever."

With an uncomfortable air between the two of them, her employee shifted her weight and glanced slightly at Moonbyul every now and then in the elevator. 

It had been a while since Moonbyul spent some time—even just a little, with someone else. Considering all things, she definitely couldn't be with Yongsun or Wheein, and Hyejin was overseas. She didn't really have any other friends that she could trust to not make things worse. 

She stepped out into the unbalanced streets of Seoul and sighed. It all seemed so dull to her. 

The face in the crowd was too familiar for her not to linger on the idea that she knew who it was. 

Could it be her Yongsun?

Not her Yongsun anymore. Just... Yongsun. 

She ran her hand through her hair and groaned to herself. It was foolish to look for her anywhere, or to even hope she'd just be in a crowd. 

Behind her, Jeongyeon followed close behind and rambled about the unpredictable weather but Moonbyul couldn't care less. She just wanted to go home. 

Nothing awaited Moonbyul in the house that was too big for one person. No one waited for her like Yongsun used to, except the looming walls that closed in on her. Only the deafening silence of her loneliness accompanied her at home these days. 

"I'm home, Yongsun-ah!" Her voice echoed off the walls, then a chuckle. Her jacket flung across the room and she plopped herself on the couch. 

"It's been a year but I still keep thinking you'd be here, somehow. Like you'd just magically fall back into my arms." No one was there to answer her monologue, so she just closed her eyes and breathed slowly. 

The mark you left on me is just too big, she wanted to say. She couldn't help but wonder if none of the time they spent together really truly mattered to Yongsun. 

In an attempt to erase the thoughts that filled her head, Moonbyul headed to her room and laid down on the right side of her bed. Her hand lingered on the empty space where Yongsun used to lay beside her. 

"Why are you everywhere?" A cry escaped her lips, spiralling into a sob.

It was another night of a pity party for Moonbyul, attempting to push Yongsun out of her thoughts to no avail. Then she decided to not mope around so much. She couldn't exactly move on like this. 

As she arrived at her favorite restaurant, a lone woman in another table laid her eyes on Moonbyul. 

She gulped and looked the other way. Not today. Not this year. 

There was nothing she could do, even when Yongsun stood in front of her. Neither of them knew where to start, what to say. 

"I'm sorry, Moonbyul." Another apology she didn't ask for, when she should be answering all the questions that kept her up at night. 

Moonbyul bit her lip and avoided her eyes, looking at her hair. It was short, how she liked it, how it was when they got married. Then she looked to the floor, unable to keep her eyes on Yongsun. She couldn't deny that she looked better, looked happier with someone else that wasn't her. 

“Do you hate me, Moonbyul?”

Moonbyul stepped back in disbelief from Yongsun with parted lips. She scoffed and hung her head.

How could she hate her?

How could she hate the woman she still loved?

“I need to go,” were the only words she could say, but her feet stayed glued to the ground and she stood frozen. It took her a moment to turn her back on her ex-wife.

“Moon Byulyi, don’t leave.” 

That voice broke her. It was exactly how she sounded that night. 

“You left. You left me, Yongsun! Do you know how easy this would be for me if I didn’t still love you? But I do!” Her voice rose in the air of the restaurant, making other customers look, but she didn’t care. She sniffled, then started to laugh at the look on Yongsun’s face. 

“God, I still love you, even after everything.” She shook her head in disbelief of herself, her tears starting to fall. "I call your name every night I go home, I look for your arms when it's cold in the morning, I try to search for you in a sea of faces, and you're never there and yet somehow, you follow me around everywhere." 

Her head shot up to look at Yongsun—the first time their eyes met since she admitted to being with Wheein a year ago. For a while, it seemed like this was hard for her too, but how could she possibly have it worse than Moonbyul? There was a tear in her eye, then she turned away. 

“Just go, Yongsun. You know how.”

Cold from the night’s breeze, Yongsun shivered as she walked through the sleeping city streets on the way home. There were no more cabs available in this part of town and she didn’t exactly bring a car. 

A fool, that’s what she was, and she felt that it was true. What did she even hope to gain by just waltzing up to Moonbyul like she could have a casual conversation with her? Her eyes caught a familiar black car pull over next to her.

“Why didn’t you bring a car?” Moonbyul asked, her voice almost angry. She had the right to be—she couldn’t possibly bear to see Yongsun walk herself home in this weather.

“I thought I could take a cab.” She breathed shakily, her voice producing a thin fog in the air. Inside her car, Moonbyul let out a sharp exhale and held her head in one hand.

“Get inside before you freeze to death.”

Yongsun stared at her, dumbfounded. Moonbyul really still loved her. 

“I’m not really asking, Yong...sun.” Her eyes evaded the look on Yongsun’s, and only looked up ahead at the road. With a slight hesitance, she opened the door to the backseat of the car and sat stiffly.

It was barely a minute of driving, but the tension could be cut with a knife. Yongsun couldn’t even begin to process the conversation they just had after a year of not seeing each other because of the divorce, and this insanely awkward car ride just had to add onto the pile. 

Moonbyul felt it too, and tried to make an attempt to escape the silence by turning up the radio. “How long has it actually been? You changed so unexpectedly. But if time takes us away, we become our old selves; I always thought of you.” 

She felt herself sink into the driver’s seat at the lyrics of the song. It was the song she buried herself in for the first few months of her divorce with Yongsun. She caught a glimpse of her shifting her position uncomfortably and must have known. Moonbyul changes the radio of the song, only for it to play another familiar tune.

“Maybe we trapped each other inside our own misunderstandings. No, you don’t understand me.”

Struck with the well-known feeling of guilt and regret, Moonbyul wanted to look elsewhere—be elsewhere, than at Yongsun, with Yongsun. Even a year after, they refused to meet each other's eyes, afraid something would break the remnants of them that were left. She bit her lip and blinked away the tears that were starting to spring in her eyes. 

"I just wanna know why you did it, Yongsun. I want to know why it seemed so easy."

"I never felt like we were in the relationship together—that we could never understand what we were trying to say. But I know we tried, we tried our best to communicate and to be there. It's just in the end… I found what I was asking from you in someone else."

"Did you ever really love me?"

Yongsun couldn't answer, even when the vehicle stopped in front of her house. 

"Did it have to be Wheein or did you have to take that away from me too?"

She sighed and unlocked the doors. Even when those questions left an indent in her brain after a year of sulking, she decided to let it go. 

"Nevermind. I don't want to hear anything from you."

The veil on Yongsun had been lifted, and she decided to let her go. 


End file.
